Names for Your Stupid Kickball Team


  1. Sons of Pitches
  2. Sons and Daughters of Pitches
  3. Gender Is a Social Construct of Pitches
  4. The Hungover Games
  5. The I Never Used to Get this Hungover in College Games
  6. The Hungover and Everything Hurts But I’m 29 and Wearing Knee Socks and Striped Sweatbands and God Dammit Everybody Likes Me, I think, Games
  7. Ace of Bases (too dated?)
  8. Ball Me Maybe (still too dated?)
  9. Wrecking Balls (that’s not dated, right?)
  10. One Kick Wonders (let’s just generalize!)
  11. Kick-Kat Bars
  12. Oh Give Me a Break, That’s a Terrible Name Bars
  13. Let’s Just Got to the Bars
  14. The KICKstarters
  15. You-Get-To-Keep-Your-Money-Even-If-You-Don’t-Reach-Your-Goal-On-IndieGOGOs
  16. The I Will Resent You If You Don’t Donate to My Pointless Slam Poetry on Ice Project Because I’m a Secret GENIUSes
  17. Saved by the Ball
  18. Saved by Jessie Spano’s Feminism… By the Ball.
  19. Actually-not-saved-at-all-by-Jessie’s-“feminism”-because-she-created-a-ridiculous-stereotype-that-an-entire-generation-now-associates-with-feminists-and-makes-them-seem-obnoxious-and-annoying-instead-of-fighting-for-gender-equality-which-we all-believe-in-or-we-wouldn’t-have-signed-up-for-a-league-where-boys-and-girls-play-at-the-same-time… by the Ball.
  20. Kickball Diamonds Are Forever
  21. Kickball Diamonds Are Forever or Until Holly Barfs on the Field Agains
  22. Kickball Diamonds Are Forever I Guess, But What Is Time?s
  23. Kickball Diamonds Are For Everyone!!!s
  24. Kickball Diamonds Are For Everyone with a College Degree, Disposable Income, Nebulous Long-Term Goals, and a Complicated Definition of “Irony”s
  25. Balls Deep
  26. Boobs Deep?
  27. Genitals Everywhere
  28. Let’s just have sex.