REVIEWBICLES: LARRY’S CUBICLE

This is a lovely workspace, Larry! But I can see suffering here.

For me, the most striking part of your cubicle is the frowning cactus magnet. Slapping up a distressed cactus in your workspace—the nexus of your life’s labor—is like tagging the gallows with a swear word, man. It’s like flicking a spider off your shirt while being tossed out of a plane. It’s saying, “Hey! Look at this small piece of sad” when the horror that envelopes you is astronomically more intense. But it makes sense: the cactus is a manageable amount of melancholy. That magnet allows you to give a nod to the darkness, flirt with it a little, feel alive.

But do NOT make full-on love to the darkness!!! Because look at the rest of your desk: You’ve got a Coke Zero, a jolly plastic mouse, a happy face on your Post-It, a bacon magnet, and an earnest book by a TED Talk veteran. These are not the weapons of a man equipped to make eye contact with demons. They’re both creature comforts and examples (at least in the Coke Zero and TED Talk book) of attempts to improve a life you’re already committed to. You’ve already bought in, so don’t look too close now. Because regret is easy, but starting over is a terrible bother.

Overall, I love your slightly disheveled cubicle and the levity and whimsy you bring to it! You’re funny. You get it.

But keep your head down, Larry. Or the darkness will eat you alive.

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