One Man’s Logs: Volume 2

This post was originally published on January 15th, 2001

About two weeks ago, I ran out of soap at my apartment, and since then I’ve been using shampoo on my body instead. It makes me fragrant, but maybe not so clean. What it surely does do, though, is make my skin all dry and scaly, as if I were a beast in Arizona.

Anyhow, the reason these logs have been so delayed is because one day in the shower rubbing myself with Suave I was thinking I needed to get tough on grime with a “no holds barred” approach to cleanliness. Then I realized that since I didn’t have soap in the house, my situation was more like “no bars held.” This paradox crippled me for weeks.

From reading emails, I get the feeling that people think I’m some kind of party animal or that I go out every night raising hell. Really, after work is over, I just go sit in my filthy house with my roommate. More than anything, we raise smell.

For Christmas, my mom gave me this CD called the “Mozart Effect,” which claims to make people smarter. I think this is how it works. You read the packaging. Then you listen to the CD. And then you start thinking about how much smarter you just got–which makes you a pompous jerk, like Mozart.

I had a really bad time getting to work today because of the snow, and someone said to me, “Never take 95 [a highway] in the winter.” I wanted to say, “Don’t worry, during the winter, I only take drugs.”

But the truth is, I don’t. Still, I think America deals with substance abuse in a completely retarded way. Why do we have this war on drugs? They’re the ones getting abused all the time.

This is the nature of the injustice.

-By Christian Rudder