In the small gray room,
Which costs too much
There was a cheap IKEA picture of the moon
And a bowl full of mush
And a drunk roommate in the living room,
To whom I yelled, “hush.”
That it’s too warm in here.
I think I have an article in my “saved for later” folder
That says it’s healthier to sleep when it’s colder.
Or maybe I just saw that headline in my Twitter feed
Perhaps I’ll go back and I’ll give it a read
Or save it for later, when I’m not trying to sleep.
Goodnight guilt and regret and dread
Over-eating fried chicken right before bed
And especially because I specifically had
“Go to the gym” on my to-do list today.
Goodnight unreasonable amount of shame
About wasting a perfectly good Sunday
Watching Friends on Netflix all day.
Goodnight neighbors who are stomping around
Making the worst kind of 2AM sound.
Seriously, what do you do for a living?
Do you clock in at noon? Is your boss that forgiving?
Or maybe those are the footsteps of a burglar
An intruder, a criminal, or even a murderer.
Did I lock the doors?
Goodnight oil-based stains near my head
From the Carmex I put on every night before bed
I have self-diagnosed chronically dry lips
But I’ve never been to a dermatologist
And I’m kind of afraid that it’s too late to begin
Is it normal for people my age to worry about their skin?
Goodnight half-charged phone that I hope doesn’t die on me
If I wake up late again my boss will surely fire me.
Lately she’s been giving me a whole lot of strife
Then again maybe she’s got some shit going on in her life.
I mean, what business is it of mine?
Yesterday I think I heard her in her office crying.
Goodnight to all of my dreams and nightmares
Of whose existence I will soon be unaware
Because I’ve never been able to remember my dreams
And I wonder if that means there’s something wrong with me.
Goodnight crippling and persistent fear
That I’ll die alone with nobody near.
Goodnight alarm clock that in the morning will beep
Reminding me that I didn’t get enough sleep.
Although I suppose it’s not like I couldn’t,
I just stay up surfing the internet when I shouldn’t.
New rule starting tomorrow: No more Buzzfeed at night.
I open too many goddamn tabs on that site.
Goodnight bowl of mush.
What are you?
Is that the cereal I had this morning?
Jesus, that’s gross.